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Mar

STALKER: Call Of Pripyat Review

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Review
Tags: Call Of Pripyat, FPS, PC, shooter, STALKER

Welcome back to Chernobyl Comrade…

*somewhere over the Ukraine*

I sat back and drank the last of my brand of El president Rum. Leaving Tropico was hard. The beach, the sun, the women…
I leaned over to where Garv was playing on his DS.

“How-much longer until we’re in London?” I slurred.

“Uhhh, yeah, about that…” he said, putting Professor Leighton down.
“You’re not going to London Beanie, you’re ah, no longer recognised as a UK citizen. Sorry…”

“Bwuh!? But, I was born there! I can’t be cast off like some manky kleanex!”

“…You were a dictator on a Caribbean island. The foreign office wasn’t too keen on your policies so revoked your citizenship.”

“Awww come on! I only tested ONE nuke there!”

“Unlucky buddy. The good news is we found a country that’ll take you AND is a segway to your next review!” he said grabbing an AK and parachute.

“…I’m not going to Paris am I?”

“Nope! Hope your Russians good, yer going to Pripyat!” he said tossing them to me.

“But Pripyat is in the Ukraine…”

“So? They still speak Russian there! Now get yer arse over to the door!”

“Wow, we at the airport already?”

Garv gave me a look. “Oh yeah, we’re almost there, all ya gotta do is step out the door…” he said snidely.

“Right-o boss! You’ll lemme know when my papers come through right?” I said hopefully.

“Uh huh, yeah, sure. Now fly you beanie wearing freak! Fly!”

Then I fell…

Luckily I knew how to work my parachute…unfortunately I hadn’t factored in how hard I would hit the ground…

When I woke, there was the sound of the wind in the trees, the patter of light rain on my face and an alien wailing in the far distance. There was a man standing just in front of me seemingly motionless. He smelled of death and decay mixed with rotten vinegar.

I pulled myself to my feet, pulled my AK to my side, safety off. As I did so the man turned, his flesh pallid his eyes glazed over, his arms hanging limply by his side with a 9mm clenched in one hand. I brought my rifle to bear and pulled the trigger…with a worrying *click*.
The zombie stumbled forward, raising its gun as I fumbled to re-load my weapon. Then came the shot. The zombie fell back, twitching in its death throws as a STALKER appeared through the brush. He walked straight past me and put a knife through the zombies sternum.

“Thankyou! Thankyou so much!”

He didn’t respond, going through the dead man’s pockets.
I got to my feet. The droning siren wail still permeated the air.
“What is that…”

The STALKER finished his business and stood up. “It is the sound of the wind through the greatest anomaly. All day and night it never stops. It is calling to us. It is calling us…to Pripyat.”

And now, to the review.

Call of Pripyat (COP) is the third game in the Stalker series, continuing the events from Shadow of Chernobyl and is by far the best game in the series. It takes place in 3 areas, the Zanton old riverbed, the Jupiter rail station and industrial district and the suburban city of Pripyat.

To those of you who are unfamiliar with the STALKER series, lemme give you the cliff notes: Alternative universe where the 1986 Chernobyl meltdown causes strange anomalies within the radiation Zones to create artefacts which are worth a lot of money attracting treasure hunters called STALKERS who fight each other’s and the mutated animals while avoiding the daily emitions that are lethal if caught in.

Yes the premise is silly, but the end product is excellent. GSC GAMEWORLD have clearly learned from the previous 2 games and given us a wonderfully atmospheric shooter.

The plot this time is that you play Major Alexander Degtyarev, but I like to call him Al. He works with the Ukrainian secret service or USS. You’ve been sent into the zone to investigate why several helicopters in Operation Fairway were suddenly down upon entering the zone with no apparent explanation. Although you are fairly well equipped at the begging as opposed to the last two games, your weapon is only fully useful once it is upgraded and customized to your style of fighting. You can mix it up between using a pistol and sniper rifle or, my favourite, a machine gun and shotgun combo. However, weapons can only be upgraded by the relevant tools you find within the zone. Why the inhabitants had the tools for customizing SMG’s in their houses I don’t know, but it adds a nice challenge and reason to go exploring.

So what else does COP improve over its predecessors? Well, the factions for a start. While they exist, they are not permanently at war and peace and the zone is not divided up the most common stalkers you will see will be operating as independent stalkers of Bandits. This makes the game much more streamlined as you’re not worrying about who controls what area and you’re free to follow the plot missions or side quests.

Now, I’m about to make a statement some may consider controversial, but I say it with confidence: COP’s side quests, are better than Fallout 3’s side quests. A FPS shooter, has better quest in it, then an RPG. Wow. I did not see that coming. Why are they better? Let me count the ways. You earn USEFUL in-game achievements when you complete them, they are varied and interesting enough to make you explore every corner of the Zone instead of just the plot locations and they actually have a bearing on what happens when the game ends!

The weather and lighting effects are top-notch and the melodious sound of the wind in the trees to the howling of the pseudo dogs will keep you checking your back to make sure nothing is creeping up on you and believe me, they will creep up on you…

I’m not going to talk about the monsters you face too much because it will spoil the surprise, but you’ll be seeing some new faces and some old ones to send shivers down your spine. You can go from hunter to hunted in a matter of seconds if you don’t have your wits about you.
The surrounding environments especially that of Pripyat itself have been lovingly recreated by the team to be as realistic to the actual location as possible. The desolate wastes, the empty buildings add to the tense feeling of loneliness before you get, jumped, shot eaten or hit by an anomaly. The artefacts that you find while risking your life in anomalies are much more worthwhile than in the previous game as they are integral to surviving radiation and attacks on the harder difficulties and later on in the game.

The daily emitions from the Chernobyl power plant have to be sheltered from at all costs, if yer out when the sky turns red yer gonna be dead. I know, it’s a bad rhyme but it’s true. You’ll find yourself ditching your stuff just to make it to a tunnel or bunker so your goose isn’t cooked.

However, the game is far from perfect. While the voice over’s have improved, the voice doesn’t always match up with the text and is still the grinding eastern European accent which makes it hard to discriminate one character from another. While the game has fewer bugs than its predecessors it still suffers from clipping issues and occasional messy A.I. For example, when I travelled between the areas all of a sudden all of the STALKERS in the safe area ran out as if someone had done a toxic fart in there!

But these are minor gripes. Ultimately COP is an enjoyable atmospheric shooter with a good 15-20 hours of game play and a satisfying ending. While it’s not perfect I’d definitely recommend it to fans and newbie’s alike.

- That Bloke In The Beanie

Feb

Tropico 3, The Beanie’s Back

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Review
Tags: PC, stratergy, tropico 3, turn based

The sun shone down on the golden sands of Tropico as I longed on the beach with a cool glass of coconut milk. Then, out of the blur that was the background, a figure approached.

“El Presidente, there is a man here to see you.”

“Urgh, tell the US ambassador I’m not going to praise them unless they give us the plan to the power plant!”

“Er, president, he is not an American, he is British, says he says he is your boss.”

“Garvaos? Bring him over!”

“Si presidente!”

I sipped my milk and re-adjust my beanie, trying to look somewhat regal.

“BEANIE!”

An angry figure storms up the beach towards me.

“Oh hey Garv, wassup? What can El president do for you?”

“El president my arse! What are you doing!? Where are the reviews you promised me!? Why is your face on ‘Tropican Rum’?”

“Hey man chill. I just landed a sweet gig here. They needed a leader and I was available. Sorry about the lack of reviews, Manuel is still learning English, but he’ll have one done by next week I swear!”

“Oh well that’s alright then…no wait, no its not! I don’t care if you’re king-“

“Presidente!”

“…president of some Caribbean island, you have obligations! Now either you start your reviews or I revoke your staff writer status!”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.” He said imposingly

“…Manuel! Escort Mr Gravaos to Ed international airport, see he gets a nice seat…”

“Si Presidente!”

“Not so fast! I brough some friends along to help persuade you to go back to work.”

“Oh yeah, good luck with that. What’cha gonna do? Force me to get on that plane?”

“Exactly.”

“You and what army?” I scoffed.

“Me and YOUR’E army!”

I looked down the beach in disbelief; all of the officers were lined up and weren’t looking happy.

“What did you do!?” I demanded.

“Oh they didn’t need much persuading, a few Xboxes and TV’s and they were only too happy to switch sides.”

“…Maneul, you won’t betray me for a game console will you?”

“Si president!” he said happily.

“…I’ll get my beanie…”

And thus begins my review of Tropico 3. I miss my personal dancing girls…

Tropico 3 is a society building simulator where you play the role of El Presidente, trying to hold onto power while you manage the needs of your citizens and your particular campaigns goals.

You can play any pre-generated dictator, like Castro or Guevara or create your own custom avatar. From there you choose your appearance from a painfully short list of options and then chose his or her traits as a ruler, how they come to power and their vices. While this is a nice addition from the previous Tropico games, it still feels lacklustre and unfinished. While I don’t mind playing a womanizing alcoholic man, it would have been nice to have some different options for a woman avatar, similarly, when the radio pronouncer Jaulito talks about in game events he doesn’t differentiate between male and female presidents.

I know it seems like I’m nit picking here, but I want you guys to realise that while Tropico 3 is a decent game, its let down by pretty minor annoyances and inconsistencies. Your citizens can also be incredibly unforgiving, especially in the later campaigns, becoming rebels if their every whim is not met near instantaneously. The learning curve is also pretty steep, even with the tutorial; it takes you awhile to get around the resource management in order to run your island economy. Are your citizens exporting Papaya and Bananas or eating them?

However! Once you get over these petty annoyances and cracks, you have an interesting and, well, quite addictive game in your hands. The island is beautifully rendered; the samba and jazz from the radio station may get a bit repetitive but really helps to give it that great Caribbean atmosphere. You can abuse your power to siphon off money into your Swiss bank account for your retirement, use your secret police to organise hits against those who would stand against you. But the most fun to be had is with the events that pop up during the campaign, such as when you discover that you are a hidden cyborg made by the FBI to rule an island.

The combat is unfortunately lack lustre and by the numbers, you can’t control your forces and it seems like as long as you have more men you’ll win unless it glitches out. The other campaign modes offer some variety and replayability to the game which is a welcome addition and you can upload your scores online to compete with other like minded dictators.

So ultimately tropic 3 is a mixed bag, for those who enjoy pretending to be a dictator and running an economy and population, this is the game for you. But if that doesn’t sound like your bag then give it a miss. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a score to settle with my manservant…

- That Bloke In The Beanie

Dec

MGS Peace Walker Update

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Preview
Tags: big boss, konami, metal gear, peacewalker, PSP, shooter, snake, stealth

When you think of gaming action heroes, who comes into your mind? Sam Fisher? Dante? Nathan “Nate” Drake? Kratos? For me, there’s only one hero who sums up an all American bad-ass action hero: Snake.

bigboss

Love him or hate him, Snake is a well established and respected figure in gaming, despite the twisting, turning, near incomprehensible storyline around him. But seeing as the next big game in the series is set around the character of Raiden, a guy I could take or leave, even with his all new ninja-badassery; I’ll be concentrating on the upcoming PSP release: MGS Peace Walker.

OK, so its Solid Snakes father Big Boss, but you know you’re just playing another incarnation of Snake. The game is set after Big Boss’s last outing inSouth America where he saved the world again! Now a free agent, he’s decided to use his soldier stealing skills from Portable Ops to make his very own mercenary group named called ‘Militaires Sans Frontières’, or Soldiers Without Borders. They’ve been called into Costa Rica in ‘74 because a mysterious armed group has sprung up. This is a problem for the government because their constitution bans the creation of an armed force; meaning the country is up for grabs if you have the firepower. So far so standard, but the character development is gonna be where it’s at, finding out what made a former government agent into a ruthless mercenary leader bent on changing the world through military means!

4snakes

A key feature in Peace Walker will be the new co-op mode with 2-4 players involved on infiltration missions. As has been shown in trailers, Snake will be working with…clones of himself to exploit the enemy’s weakness, even going so far as to share a cardboard box. This is perhaps the most ambiguously gay duo since Batman and Robin, although the box now has more practical uses like using it to get the cookies down from the top shelf or to get over that wall which is just a tad too high to hop over.

screenshot2

The combat interface has been changed too with MGS4’s over the shoulder camera replacing the static FPS mode, allowing you to fire while moving and be more flexible in a fire fight. You can also bring back incapacitated allies by performing CPR on them, though how that cures bullet wounds I’ve yet to fathom. Not forgetting the thinly veiled mecha Metal Gear bots you’ll be bringing down.

Still, the graphics look improved from Snakes last outing and it looks like the PSPs power is being fully utilised. So despite my sarcastic comments, I’m looking forward to Peace Walker and finding out what happened to Big Boss.

Dec

Dragon Age Origins: first Impressions

By That Bloke In The Beanie 1 Comment

Categories: Review
Tags: Dragon Age, Dragon Age Origins, PC, Review, RPG

Well, it’s December and that means we’re being bombarded with more games, gadgets and gizmos than you can shake a stick at. And leading the charge for the RPG genre is Biowares’ latest fantasy epic: Dragon Age Origins. Now, the reason why this is a first impressions rather than a review, is that I haven’t finished the game yet…after 70 hours. I haven’t even got a 3^rd of the way through what the game has to offer in its total content. This, ladies and gentleman, is a serious RPG…even if it is so cliched as to be amusingly predictable.

You have your standard run of the mill character creation. You can choose to be male or female, human, elf or dwarf and then a warrior, rouge or mage with a background to suit you. There are also subclasses for each like a rouge Ranger or a Warrior Paladin. I played a male human rouge with a background as a former Noble; and my back story? Lord Howle took my land, killed my family and striped me of my title…and by my father’s sword, I will have my vengeance! *ahem* Needless to say I got fully into the swing of my chosen character.

From your origin story, you’re plunged straight into the main storyline with one immediate goal: pass the trials to become a Grey Warden. Who are the Grey Wardens? Well, they’re basically the fantasy equivalent of Jedi’s, just without the lightsabers and force powers. Their role is to stop an invasion of hellish creatures called the Darkspawn who cause a ‘blight’, being lead by an Arch-demon, what looks to be a big black dragon. So, a nice big epic storyline set up, you have to unite the land to defeat a terrible evil, facing overwhelming odds with only a ragtag band of mismatched adventurers to help get you there.

So yeah, this isn’t anything an RPG fan hasn’t seen before, especially in a Bioware game. Some RPG fans expected more from this; fresh ideas that weren’t too similar to their previous work. Dragon Age is not revolutionary, it is not the next stage of the fantasy RPG genre, but it is bloody good! And Dragon Age does enjoy a lot of blood…maybe a little too much.

The storyline may be a standard fare, but it’s the presentation and delivery that make it an enjoyable play. The world is beautifully created and rendered, on a decent PC at least, 90% of the NPCs are voiced and all the major ones are brought to life with solid voice acting and emotions. Even if they do look a bit plastic at times. While all the PC characters get generally the same storyline, even the slight variations are enough to intrigue the player and get plenty of replay value.

The various companions you pick up, clichéd as they are have interesting and likeable personalities and you do start to get used to having them around. From Alistair’s wry wit to Stern’s stoic one liners, you want to see what secrets they hide and who they really are. Except Morrigan, she’s just a whore. The gifting system allows you to curry favour with you companions and make up for any…inappropriate decisions you made in their presence. And yes, you can have sex with the various ladies and gents who fight alongside you. Well, not so much sex as a barely clothed writhing about for 30 seconds. An adult RPG indeed…

The combat is well managed, thanks to the ability to pause the action to issue orders. You can also take a bird’s eye view of the action to better adjust your strategy. That said, it will take you a while to adjust to using the various classes and combat tactics to defeat the various hordes and bosses you come across. At times it can be extremely frustrating and uneven, especially if you don’t have the right mix of party members to take on your foe. The slimming down of the character classes and specialisation does make it easier for a player to adjust the way they play and the party you use; though you will most likely end up with two warriors a healing mage and a damage mage to cut the Darkspawn into chop seuy.

The lore and history of Fereldan is a nice departure from the Dungeons and Dragons universe in Baulders gate, familiar yet alien. For example there are no dwarf mages due to the lyrium (magic infused rock) that they mine makes them unable to control it. The humans are, of course, despised by the other races for being dicks in the past and having the audacity to have empires and a superiority complex to rival the most egotistical elf. The Dwarfs live in a strictly Platonic caste society, the humans with their feudal lords and ladies and the Elves in their various tribal societies. Oh and not forgetting the thinly veiled Chantry standing in for Christianity.

So for fans of the old school fantasy genre you have a nice mix of the mostly old with some new features. It won’t make any conversions for the RPG uninitiated, but they are not its target audience so that’s unsurprising. This is a very able and solid game but it will occasionally leave you with frustrations with combat hardness and glitches. The story while solid, is nothing new, but entertaining none the less. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a land to rescue and a family to avenge. For Ferelden!

Nov

The Dragon Age Origins Debate.

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Article
Tags: Dragon Age Origins, PC, RPG, Xbox 360

After Garvaos’ encounter with Dragon Age Orinins at Eurogamer and That Bloke In The Beanies’ newest RPG chrush. The two gamers decide to talk about this latest RPG fernominon in Plus XP’s first game disscussion.

Garv: Well my main gripe about Dragon Age is that I played the console version, my god it royally sucks on there maybe it’s a translation problem but I didn’t get on with it at all

Beanie: The 360 version I assume?

Garv: Indeed, and the flecks of blood over everything, though it is a nice idea, look cheesy to me.

Whatever you do, don't turn around.

Beanie: I’ll grant you, the gore is a bit over excessive. Looks like someone got a bit slap happy with the paint tool

Garv: Too true, I mean, after a battle my character looked like a DIY decorating accident

Beanie: Heh heh

Garv: Personally, I found the game play clunky and glitchy at times, NPC’s get in your way during battle, and I kept swapping between me and my dog for no good reason, and as much as I like Maralin Manson and His song ‘This is the new shit’, it feels really out of place in a medieval setting, and also, I didn’t see a single dragon.

Beanie: Wow, I feel as though we were playing totally different games, or at the very least versions of the game. Now, I’ll back you on the hate for the 360 version, because, if you’re gonna make a next gen RPG for the 360, you need to spend a lot of time to make it work.

Garv: Agreed, To make an RPG work on any console you don’t port it from the PC, you build it from scratch; this is blatantly a ported PC game, and it has gone pretty damn wrong.

Beanie: So we agree on that side of the debate. Now, what about the plot and characters?

Garv: Now remember I didn’t play the whole game when I got my hands on it at Eurogamer, but the characters I found were pretty RPG generic. I was the soldier/sword man, with my trusty fable II dog on acid.

Beanie: Oh no, you didn’t like the dog?

Garv: Fable II did the dog awesomely; somehow Dragon Age didn’t hit the mark.

Beanie: But you didn’t find the Fable dog a bit too gimmicky?

Garv: What? Hell no! He was the awesome, he found you stuff alerted you when enemies were near by. He also, led the way to treasure and you could teach him tricks. He was with you from the start, his personality changed with yours and he was your trusted friend through out the game. My heart literally sank when he got a bullet to the face.

If all else fails, use fire!

Beanie: Fair enough, do you think they relied too much on a similar Knights Of The Old Republic (KOTOR) setup and character types then?

Garv: Yeah it stank of KOTOR to be honest, just set like a billion years in the past, and I know my mentality is if it isn’t broke don’t fix it but seriously? You have to have a little innovation.

Beanie: You didn’t find any of the lore interesting? What little you saw of it?

Garv: I saw very little really so I didn’t get into the story much, the demo I played was more game play orientated. Which all things were at Eurogamer to be honest because you only have a set time.

Beanie: Ok, it’s a real pity that on first impressions that you see all the various clichés and worst parts of the game.

Garv: Yeah it is a shame because to be honest, I was kind of psyched about this game. I downloaded trailers from Xbox LIVE and was like oooh!

Beanie: Yeah, unfortunately it suffers from being over hyped, but I think you’d feel different if you played the PC version.

Garv: hmmmmm maybe, thing is I’m more of a console gamer as you know
Mind you, CAD did a hilarious comic on one of the trailers

Beanie: Yeah that was pretty funny. For me, I’d seen relatively little of Dragon Age so I didn’t have a large expectation for the game. It’s pretty (but only on the PC and PS3) and well voice acted and written, though I’m not a big fan of the silent protagonist.

Hey, we're here for Steves' Stag do.

Garv: Only GTA III nailed the silent protagonist well

Beanie: Yes, some of the character archetypes are a bit clichéd, but this is a genre that is pretty much saturated at this point. Most of the good ideas have already been used up.

You know what I’ve come to see Dragon Age as? A parody of the RPG genre, not in a bad way though. It’s still entertaining and fun but if you allow yourself to laugh at it, it really comes into its own.

Garv: Oh I see what you mean actually, if you look at it from that aspect and not take it seriously you’re probably gonna enjoy it more.

Beanie: I’ll bet once you get a few hours with the PC version you’ll warm to it or at least be a wee less critical. But I can understand and condone your views about the 360 version and the plot, combat and character types

You got a final word?

Garv: Indeed I have. To be honest, I really did have a bad experience with Dragon Age. But in heindsight, if I take a little time to actually take in the story more and not take it so seriously, I could end up enjoying it….Just get it away from my 360!

Beanie: Ha ha, true that!

Nov

Welcome to the Zone comrade, you’ll never leave!

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Review
Tags: FPS, PC, STALKER

The first person shooter genre, ladies and gentlemen, perhaps the cradle of civilization for modern gaming. There were many games before, some good some bad, but none gave the popularity to gaming that the FPS did. Wolfenstein 3D was the first, but it was Doom that set the standard which was then adopted by Quake and every other FPS. It’s been nearly 20 years since the blocky grey trend setter graced our screens and its many children wriggled their way into our hearts. Some were big names: Medal of Honor, Halo, Far Cry, Golden eye and of course Half Life. But today I’m going to talk about, what is in my eyes, a lesser known classic, a game forgotten or dismissed out of hand for what it appears to be.

Lovely weather

Im talking about S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl. Now before I go on I should explain that it is a very Russian game, not just in the nature and name of it, but in the way it was designed. By which I mean, despite being released in 2007, it looks a good 5-6 years older and it plays, harder than an Ex-Marine with an attitude problem. Also, the game takes a detour from the 1986 meltdown setting it in an alternate timeline where instead of radiation killing everything around it, these things called ‘anomalies’ some of which produce valuable artifacts that have positive properties making them much sought after by the STALKERS in the ‘Zone’ around it.

Not your typical Stalker...

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. stands for “Scavenger, Trespasser, Adventurer, Loner, Killer, Explorer, Robber” which, unsurprisingly is the character you will be playing. You play the nameless one a fella who fell off a truck and ended up on a fat Russian merchants table on the outskirts of the town around the Chernobyl reactor. You have no memory and you only have a blackberry with a two word command: Kill Strelok.

From here you’re dropped into the cordon surrounding the Zone with nothing but a knife and a pea shooter pistol, welcome to hell and it is glorious. Even on normal or easy difficulty, this game will hand your ass to you within the blink of an eye. Whether it is humans, blind dogs, invisible cuthulu like monsters or the anomalies that you bump into, the Zone is out to kill you. Now, I know I’m a sticker for the more ‘hardcore games’ as my last few reviews show, but this is a game any FPS lover should play because it’s so unforgiving an unrelenting. Whether you’re out in the middle of the night with nothing but a flashlight, or down in some poorly lit tunnel you’re always listening, waiting and praying that you see you’re for before they see you.

If you see these guys, yer in trouble...

The plot is also a nice change from you standard FPS fare, even if most of the dialogue is pretty stilted from its original Russian and it would have been nice if the writers had spent a bit more time, ya know, writing. I not going to ruin it for you here but I will say that the devil is in the detail, and if you want to complete this game you’re going to need to look closely.

What sets even this old FPS above the others are the weather effects are second to none, with sun, rain and blood red storms when there is a ‘blowout’. The enemy A.I even follows a life-cycle, eating sleeping, tracking and fighting making them seem much more human that the normal wave of uniformed soldiers that you’re normally up against. Shooting feels much more realistic too, if you want to be accurate you’ll need a rifle with a scope so you’ll need to get up close and personal if you want to hit anything with a pistol.
Now for all my praises there are almost as many problems. At time of release and even a year after the game is still plagued with bugs corrupting files and crashing the game, showing even more how ‘amateurish’ the games production and coding was. Thankfully that’s been pretty much fixed by now with several patches. Also like I mentioned before, the game is not all that good looking, although there is a mod out now which drastically improves the various caves and vistas you traverse across. The game also feels unfinished in that your equipment will degrade but you will be unable to have it fixed, something that was probably meant to be implemented but ended up being left out until fixed by the Oblivion lost mod.

Thankfully the STALKER community have lavished much love on this game with patches and mod’s making the experience much more fulfilling and much less frustrating. So, yet another flawed gem from my collection, and perhaps one of the best things to come out of Russia since the AK, Vodka and warm furry hats. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no, vodka will not help you reduce radiation sickness, despite what STALKER tells you. It will get you smashed though.

Oct

Looking back: Oddworld Abe’s Exoddus

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Article and Review
Tags: Abe's Exodus, oddworld

Welcome back to the world of odd! Or Oddworld rather. Now what’s interesting about the next game in the series is that it wasn’t meant to be part of the main story, it was a bonus game that was tacked on to the original Abe’s odyssey. Despite this it has plenty to add to the initial plot and expand Abe’s world to us, even if there is relatively little in the way of new features added. So with that bit of background done, let’s get into the story of Abe’s Exoddus!

Ohhh, I could do with a brew...

When we left our protagonist Abe in the last game (and you had played the game right) he had just saved 99 Mudokons from Rupture farms. He was rescued from the evil clutches of Mullock and Rupture farms went up in flames. And so as he stands before a cheering crowd he can finally relax…and breaks wind. After the raucous laughter, Bigface slaps him on the back, causing him to fall to the floor and have a vision of the ancient Mudokon spirits who’re suffering from a bit of a calcium deficiency. Well…more of a bone deficiency…

It turns out the new craze on Oddworld, is a drink with the not-so subtle name of “Soulstorm brew”. The key ingredient of which, it turns out is the bones of the Mudokon dead. I know, even in game logic the idea that you could make a drink out of someone’s bones is more than a little twisted and stupid. Seriously, the Glukkon’s really need to be more subtle in the marketing campaigns, I mean what next? Bubalock Balls? Unakete urine? Still! A great way to get your recommended calcium intake!

But this has the joint problem of, unsurprisingly, making the drinkers addicted to it and also making them very, very ill. Not only that, it’s also destroying the souls of the Mudokons buried in Necrum. So of course, Abe’s country break is cut tragically short as he has to hoof it across country with a few buddies to find Necrum.

Its a long way to Tiperary, its a long way to go...

And we’re plunged back into the familiar territory of AO’s platforming puzzles. These are thankfully much easier than the previous game aided by the inclusion of a quick save cutting out a LOT of frustration…as long as you don’t save at an inopportune time… However! Despite many similarities initially, the engine has been slightly upgraded making the animations look nicer and fluid.

Perhaps the most interesting and fun new element of the game is the expanded game speak, now including Glukkon’s, Sligs, Paramites and Scrabs. This adds a new dimension to the puzzle solving and trial and error game play. Yes, sadly there is still a lot of that about, so no conversions for those who disliked that style of game play. There is also the rather amusing entrance of being able to posses your farts and use them as deadly guided explosives. Which is fun!

"Thankyou for waiting, your call is very important to us."

Now for some the use of the first games engine may be seen as a cheap trick to cash in on the first games success. Given that the game was produced in just over 9 months after the first’s release, I’d say it’s to GT Interactive’ credit for creating something superior in such a short time. The artwork is just as good, if not better as the original as is the soundtrack. Sadly you do a bit or retreading some old ground, back into the temples again and it does feel a bit too familiar in some places.

The game is still just as solid as the original and much more easier and enjoyable thanks to the quick-save system.

As for the rest of the plot, well…you’re going to have to see that for yourself. There’s plenty more twisted devices and creatures in Oddworld for you to find…and run from. The joy is in discovery…so I’ll save that for you…

Oct

The Oddworld Quintology: Abe’s Oddysee

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Article and Review
Tags: abe's oddysee, oddworld, ps1

Nostalgic memories are something that we all hold close to our hearts. Looking back through the rose tinted glasses, the warm fuzzy feelings that come with it and the forced ignorance of any faults that the memory may have had. Today I’m going to taking a look back at perhaps the most interesting pieces of nostalgia in my past: The Oddworld quintology, starting with Abe’s Oddysee.

oddysee

I was lucky enough to play this in 98 just under a year after it came out and I was fascinated by it. It was unlike anything I had seen before. The environments were beautifully drawn, the sound was atmospheric and the concept was fresh and original. For those of you who didn’t have the opportunity to play the original, a little exposition…

You play as Abe, a blue alien called a Mudokon working as a floor waxer at a slaughter house called Rupture farms on planet Oddworld. Yeah, initially it’s not exactly Die Hard in its intensiveness of immediacy but! Have a little patience dear reader, it’s about to get interesting…

The game starts with Abe strung up like an Iraqi in Guantanamo, clearly in a lot of trouble providing a retrospective of his life. He was just another poor shmuck working an 18 hour day, enslaved by his evil Glukkon taskmasters; in this case the main villain is the head honcho of Rupture farms Mullock the Glukkon. But what has he done to deserve such harsh treatment? Well unluckily for Abe, he was just doing a spot of overtime, when he came across a midnight board meeting.

It turns out that, like all capitalist systems what goes up, MUST come down and in this case it’s the Glukkon’s source of income. Apparently hunting native animals to near extinction for greasy fast food products kind of destroys the market. But its gets worse, in a move to save the struggling meat plant Mullock came up with the idea of a new product: Mudokon Pops! Made with 100% recycled Mudokon meat!

That’s right Mudokon pops are PEOPLE! Or, at least Abe’s people. So yes, the soylent green idea doesn’t fly too well with poor old Abe, who decides to make like a tree and leaf…or just get the hell out of there. And that’s where you are dropped in, trying to escape from work; avoiding the various guards, traps and various other way you can die. Oh and it might be an idea to rescue your mates too you know, it would be very nice of you.

Now, with the introduction out of the way, let me tell you about the game play mechanics. The game is a very competent platformer which institutes an interesting concept called game speak. In order to deal with the puzzles that they are faced with, may require communication with the various denizens of Oddworld. What’s fascinating is that it’s such a simple concept and it works so well.

At the start of the game, Abe pokes his head through a hole at you and gives you a smiley “Hello”. This sweet, unassuming greeting draws you in with a happy smile in preparation for softening you up to the hours of enjoyed frustration ahead. You can give simple commands like, follow me, wait whistling and…you can fart at will. I’m not kidding; he even emits a little green cloud and makes any Mudokons gag and move away. This is a game with a sense of humour, even if it is a little juvenile.

oddysee screen

Your other powers include the ability to chant and posses Sligs, a bunch of green skinned red-eyed bastards with machine guns that are going to make your life a living hell. But they’re not your only enemy oh no, I haven’t included all the other lovely animals, traps and bottomless pits that are in your way.

You are going to be spending most of the game with a trial and error system to find out how to get around the various obstacles your faced with and, I’m not going to lie to you, it gets hard…REALLY hard. In places you’re going to want to just give up and never play again, it’s that challenging.

But you know what, that’s a good thing. You’re being pushed to try harder, be smarter and fight for every save point, which while a bit spaced out still feels like miles away.

Now, you may be wondering why I’m endorsing something that may only be of any enjoyment to a hardcore gamer, well I’ll tell you now: The environments and music. I know I’ve just done a rant on good graphics have recently become better at the expense of storyline, THIS is a game which gets both right.

The backgrounds are hand drawn, and you can tell real time an effort has gone into making them feel as atmospheric and beautiful as they do. No advanced graphics engine can give the feel that the art in Abe’s odyssey gives off. No to mention the music! From the metallic rhythmic clangs and horns in Rupture farms to the silent soft sounds of the wind blowing through the trees and desert in the wilderness and temples. Never abusive, always mood enhancing even hearing it now gives me chills down my spine.

Abe’s Oddysee is an experience into another world that is familiar yet alien, hard yet rewarding and simple yet complex. You will love it and hate it for what it is, I know I do. But that is not all dear reader for next week comes part 2 where I look at the next game in the series and believe me things are about to get…odder.

-That Bloke with the Beanie

Oct

That Bloke with the Beanie’s gaming gripe

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Article
Tags: Dead Or Alive Extream Vollyball, Fallout 3, Metal Gear Solid 4, Rant

I’ll admit I’m a fairly new addition to the gaming world. I only started gaming properly in 94/95 and even then I was limited to my wee lil Sega Master system and the few games that came with it. Most of my early gaming experiences of games with more complexity came from watching my friends play on their PCs, Mega Drive, and N64. In time I got my hands on more consoles and eventually my own PC, allowing me to sample a wider range of games.
That said, I think the issue that I’m about to raise is something that is relevant even to the more recent game players: The correlation between the improvement of graphics and the decline of new and original storylines.

We live in an ever advancing age where technology is making life easier and more exciting, nowhere is this clearer than in the videogame industry. The latest generation of consoles and even their predecessors have had graphics which grip and amaze us. The environments, physics, sounds and other effects have got us closer to that ‘movie experience’ than anything before. But, as we get ever closer to the kind of world you see in a sci-fi show, it seems that we are losing much of our individual and creative drive.

Now, it could be argued that coming up with ‘original’ ideas is a bit of a daft notion after so much human history, the stories today are just variations on particular themes, a bit like movie sequels (shudder!). This leads me very neatly into my first example of bad storytelling: Fallout 3. Now, for those of us who haven’t played it through to the end, stop reading this now! Buy the Game of the Year Edition and enjoy a decent First-Person RPG.

fallout-3-fawkes

For those of us left, I think you know what I mean: A terrible ending and an unecessarily bland main quest. While I haven’t played much of Bethesda Softworks’ other games except for Oblivion, so I don’t know how good their writers were for The Elder scrolls series but my GOD! Anyone creative, who’s worth their salt knows that if you’re going to have a magic maguffin quest in an open sandbox world, IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE!
The offending article here is, of course, the ending. What I will now recreate is something every gamer was thinking at this point:

“Damn, if I go inside the radiation will kill me, but I have a plan! Fawks you magnificent mutated bastard, would you be a dear and input the numbers for me?”
“No master, it is your destiny, not mine, I will not go inside.”
“But…but I’ll die and…you can go inside and you’ll be fine, why do I need to die?”
“Because it is your destiny.”
“My destiny is a plot hole of suck!”

Ok, well, maybe not EXACTLY like that, but you get the idea. It was an inexcusable error on the part of the writing staff, and the management at Bethesda. Shame on them!

Another offender in our gallery of “LOOKATTHESHINYTHINGS!” approach to gaming is a Dead or Alive title. Now I know what you’re thinking, “It’s a fighting game with girls with big tits, what plot do you need?” well yes, Dead or Alive was, and it was ok. But what happens when you remove the fighting element and replace it with tedious perv erm up minigames and a plot right out of 13 year old boy’s fantasies? You get DOA Xtreame Beach Volleyball, a game with a plot so paper thin you could make an origami crane out of it. The plot is this: a Muay Thai kickboxing champion by the name of Zack (the black dude with the weird Mohawk) gambles his winnings from the Dead or Alive 3 tournament at a casino winning so much he buys himself an island. He then proceeds to invite all the DOA girls to his island and they proceed to…not kill each other and just…mooch around in various states of undress and play volleyball.

doax2

Really? That’s it? Just a barely soft-core porn game whose only selling point is a lot of jumping jubblies? Wow… you know its things like this which makes me worry for the shape of our race. We get the best new graphical technology and use it to…make realistically looking breasts…but that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that it got a sequel! With even less plot than the original! Hurray!

Ok, so maybe that was a bit of a cheap shot, the plot for fighting games is usually minimal at best in order to serve as a basis for your various battles. But that’s no excuse for pandering to the lowest common denominator! Anyway, that’s enough of a tangent so on to my third and final graphical Goddess with plot poop. Brace yourselves: Metal Gear Solid 4.

metal-gear-solid-4x[1]

Now I must admit, I like the MGS series, I like Solid Snake, and I like all the major characters no matter how cheesy or stupid they are. But, as Yahtzee says, the plot is batsh*t bananas twisted 5 ways from Sunday…with your mum (not exact quote!). It would take me more space than is reasonable to explain it all with the various in-jokes, tech talk, character back stories and quasi philosophical anti-war message. The problem with Metal Gear is the same as the other games only inverted, there’s too much damn plot! Hideo Kojima is a bright creative guy, but he needs to put the brakes on when it comes to approaching a storyline. The ENTIRE game, in all its graphical and game play gimmickry is ultimately a tool for tying up all the loose ends and plot points/holes from all the previous games. That’s it. Now for the fans (me included) that would be enough, we finally get to say goodbye to a great video gaming protagonist in a somewhat honourable manner (I still weep for Sonic the Hedgehog…). For everyone else however, it is probably seen as a cross between a conspiracy thriller movie, a Japanese text ‘adventure’ game with occasional pointless fan service and a basic action game.

The game, like those above, is pretty but is dealt a double whammy of death with an overtly complex plot and average to mediocre game mechanics. Why do I still like it? Because it appeals to the mad geek in me, but that’s no excuse for turning the great PS1 game into nothing more than a running movie.

Writers and developers, please stop using such trite material and look for something new. Read a book that has information that would be helpful to the game you want to make. Don’t leave us in this mire of mediocrity, we’re better than this and you know it.

Sep

Gran Turismo PSP. Will it be a compliment to the franchise?

By That Bloke In The Beanie Leave a Comment

Categories: Preview
Tags: Driver, Gran Turismo, PSP

Gran Turismo…now there’s a game I haven’t played in a long time. The last time I had the joy of playing it was back in 2002 round my next door neighbour’s. It wasn’t my first racing game (Mario kart 64, a game that will live in infamy!) but it was the first one that really grabbed my attention and said “Look at me; I’m a beautiful sexy racing game! Play me big boy…you know you want to…” which is to say I wanted it bad. But, being the poor kid that I was, getting a copy for myself was off the cards. Now as a student…things haven’t changed so much. But! Now I get to look forward to its next incarnation: Gran Turismo PSP.

gtpsp1

Now, the poor lads over at Polyphony Digital have been working hard to get GT’s next incarnation working well. After GT4 was released way back in 2005, there were problems with actually getting the damn thing to play, even if you had the shiny new slimline PS2. So, nearly 5 years on, several new and sexy cars later, what does the next instalment of the franchise have to offer the petrol heads and the Morris minors?

On first impressions it looks like…well…a PSP racer. Of course, there’s only so much you can do with the graphical capability of this little hand held. I think if this had been released a few years earlier it wouldn’t look as solid as it does, especially with the number of cars on the road. So, with that taken into account, the visuals are very good, only taking a slight downgrade from GT2. So I think Polyphony Digital have done a good job that front.

gtpsp2

Perhaps the most interesting and potentially enjoyable feature on offer is the Ad-hoc multiplayer races. With up to four players this could be an excellent uses of the PSP’s networking capability for gaming on the go. The pop in, pop out, race game play is something I can see myself getting into. Like many PSP titles the game looks to be the sort that is enjoyed in brief bursts rather than prolonged game play. But wait! Dredging up some memories from my past reminds me of the fun that was had racing a geared up mini. So surely this next incarnation of GT will have plenty of things to tinker with and tune up, right?

Well…no, not really. It seems that particular part of the classic GT games has been left out of its PSP incarnation…oh dear, so no nitro powered mini. But! We do have the largest number of vehicles in a GT game, 800 to be precise. From your average banger to the beautiful Bugatti, you’d be hard pressed not to be impressed with the sheer number of cars for you to put round the track.

So no modifications, but more cars than you can shake a gear stick at. A mixed bag so far, but what else can we look forward to? Well, you have a standard 45 tracks for you to get stuck into, a decent number for you to try your multitude of cars and mates mettle on. The staple time trial, single race and drift race are there but no career mode for some reason. I have to say, reading up on this has given me more than a few reservations about this title. But, all in all, it looks to be a very competent game, but not one which is going to grab casual or hardcore gamers by the scruff of the neck and make them play it.

- That Bloke In The Beanie